Relationships in College
College represents a pivotal time when young adults face numerous decisions that will shape their future. Among the most significant are choices about relationships and sexuality. For students preparing to enter higher education, understanding the long-term implications of these decisions can be crucial for academic success and personal well-being.
Seven Compelling Reasons to Wait
The case for sexual abstinence before marriage extends far beyond moral considerations. It's about protecting your future and maximizing your potential. Here are seven practical reasons why waiting makes sense:
1. The Reality Check: Most high school and college relationships don't lead to marriage. Engaging in sexual activity with someone who likely won't be your spouse creates unnecessary emotional complications and potential regrets.
2. Life-Altering Consequences: Unplanned pregnancy can dramatically derail educational and career plans. Even with family support, the responsibilities of parenthood fundamentally change life trajectories, often preventing students from completing their education.
3. Health Risks: Sexually transmitted diseases, including those that remain dormant for life, can impact future relationships and require ongoing medical management that affects intimate relationships permanently.
4. Emotional Bonding: Sexual relationships create deep emotional connections that can be devastating when they end. This bonding effect can make it difficult to move on and remain open to healthier relationships in the future.
5. Cynicism and Trust Issues: Negative sexual experiences can create lasting skepticism about relationships, making it harder to recognize and connect with quality partners later in life.
6. Distorted Values: Early sexual experiences can teach young men that love begins with sex and that commitment is unnecessary, creating unhealthy relationship patterns.
7. Academic Disruption: Relationship drama, pregnancy scares, accusations, and emotional turmoil can cost valuable educational time and focus when academic success should be the priority.
The Deeper Purpose of Sexuality
Understanding why sexuality exists helps put these guidelines in perspective. Sexual attraction naturally prepares individuals for their future spouse, making dating a process of interviewing potential life partners rather than casual entertainment.
Within marriage, sexual intimacy serves multiple purposes: it provides emotional security for children, motivates men's protective instincts, and creates periodic renewal of the marital bond. Children thrive when they sense their parents' secure relationship and this stability forms the foundation of family life.
Smart Dating Guidelines
For young women, important questions to ask about potential partners include:
How does he handle anger?
How does he treat his mother and sisters?
What are his calling and communication patterns?
Will he respect physical boundaries?
Is he at your life level or above?
Does he share your faith?
Is he someone you'd be proud to bring home to your family?
For young men, the challenge is developing self-control and understanding that true manhood involves protecting rather than taking advantage of others. Learning to separate sexual attraction from genuine love and commitment is crucial for building lasting relationships.
A Strategic Timeline
The most effective approach treats the college years as a time for personal development rather than serious dating. Dating should begin in earnest during the final year of college when career paths are clearer and the possibility of marriage becomes more realistic.
This timeline allows students to:
Focus on academic and personal growth
Develop career skills and direction
Build emotional maturity
Prepare for the responsibilities of marriage and family
Practical Boundaries
Maintaining these standards requires practical wisdom:
Avoid overnight visits or traveling alone to meet romantic interests
Include friends as natural chaperones in social situations
Be cautious about out-of-town visits that create compromising situations
Recognize that temporary gratification can have permanent consequences
These guidelines aren't about limiting freedom, they're about maximizing potential. Students who maintain focus on their education and personal development while approaching relationships with wisdom and restraint position themselves for greater success in both career and marriage.
The goal is to graduate on time, establish a career, and enter marriage as a whole, healthy person ready for the responsibilities of partnership and family. This foundation creates the best possible environment for lifelong happiness and meaningful contribution to society.
For college-bound students, these principles offer a roadmap for navigating one of life's most challenging periods while protecting their most important asset—their future.
Need Help?